New England

New England Temperature Conversion Chart

60� F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. New Englanders sunbathe.

50� F: New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.

40� F: Italian & English cars won't start. New Englanders drive with the windows down.

32� F: Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20� F: Floridians put on coats coats, gloves, wool hats and thermal underwear. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15� F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0� F: All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

10� below zero: Californians fly to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

25� below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. New Englanders get out their winter coats.

40� below zero: Washington, D.C. runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.

100� below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in New England get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."

460� below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). New Englanders start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500� below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series.